To Break Up Or Not To Break Up?

Are you and your partner having relationship troubles? Are you struggling with the idea of breaking up, but want to know what’s best for you both? The steps in this guide will help you when it comes to what to do when you’re at a relationship crossroads. Good luck!

Communicate Your Needs

The first thing you should do is make sure you’ve spoken with your partner about what you need from them and the relationship. If you haven’t physically told them straight up what you need, then you can’t expect them to know. They are not a mind reader, and it isn’t fair to expect them to read between the lines either. When you’re both in good moods, speak to them about what you’d like more of. Make sure you choose your words carefully here, and never blame them or point the finger. Make sure you talk about how you feel, rather than how they ‘make’ you feel or what they do.


Relationships are all about compromise. If you expect your partner to do more for you, you should be willing to do more for them. Relationships are give and take, and you both need to be willing to put as much effort in as one another. Ask them if there’s anything they need or want from you. You both need to want to make it work.

Consider Future Plans

If you and your partner have run into problems and your futures are looking drastically different, then it’s a sign you might want to call it a day before things get even trickier. This way, you may be able to split up amicably rather than waiting until the whole thing has turned completely sour. A UK divorce website can make the splitting up process easier.

Be Selfish

While you don’t want to hurt your partner, it’s OK to be selfish if this is really what you want. If the break up is what you want but not what they want, your only job is to be honest with them and as kind as you can be. Being kind doesn’t mean being there for them when they are sad. It means cutting off all contact to avoid giving them mixed signals.

Ask Yourself Important Questions

To help you work out whether it’s time to break up or not, you should ask yourself some important questions. Here are some to give you an idea on how to get more clarity on the situation:

  • Do I love this person?
  • Is there any way we can work on this relationship?
  • Do we have similar visions for the future?
  • Does this person bring out the best or worse in me?
  • Does this person respect me?
  • Am I loved unconditionally?
  • How do I feel around this person and in the relationship?

Hopefully your answers to those questions will help you to decide on the best course of action for you both. Even if you’re the person who does the breaking up, you’re still going to find leaving a person difficult to some extent. If you know it’s the right thing, stick to your guns and stay strong.

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