Life of an Auntie And Mum

Since as far back as I can remember, was when I first figured out I had a phobia.  I had gone away with school on a trip to Redridge and we had gone to some caves and there was a very tiny cave called the nutcracker, which I tried to go inside but it was that small and tight, I just panicked, I remember getting really upset because I really wanted to do it but I just couldn’t.

It is something that has affected me quite alot even in simple every day things.  I have worked alot in adminstration in large building which consisted of quite a few floors the biggest been Alpha Tower in Birmingham where there are 27 floors and I managed all 27 of them.  Walking up 27 flights of stairs was not an option to speak to clients.

Lifts are one of my major hurdles that I have had to try and get to grips with, they are in the majority of buildings and places that I have worked and visited,  this has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to overcome, going into hot sweats when I even thought or saw a lift. When I was in a previous job, my boss pulled me in the office and said this can’t go on, I need proof from your doctor that you have claustraphobia, I was so angry I was still doing my job to the best of my ability walking up 3 flights of stairs whenever I needed too or putting stuff in the lifts and running up the stairs save carrying it etc (Health & safety and all that) so I made an appointment with my doctors and got the letter I needed.

I realised after that I really need to get help with it, as it felt like it was taking over my life.  Gradually I started going in lifts providing someone was with me but that wasn’t always practical.  So one day I bite the bullet and took my first step into a lift on my own, I remember it like it was yesterday, how scared I felt, feeling sick to my stomach listening for every little noise etc and gradually each day, month and year past I got better and better, I was determind to kick this phobia where it hurt and prove I could over come it.  A few years on I still have my good and bad days but I am working on it and i’m sure as time passes it can only get better.  One day at a time.

Do you have a phobia? What is is and how are you overcoming it?